Tuesday, January 27, 2009

How to Choose a Good Trashy Romance Novel


As many of you know I'm an avid reader. I read many books on varied subjects, genres and authors. I read historical fiction, classics, poetry, thrillers, books about Law (novels of course, not textbooks), comedy, philosophical novels, and whatever else may interest me at the time. As a general rule I don't read self-help, business, textbooks, or any kind of non-entertaining reading. I hate true stories that concentrate on depressive tales of woe and lessons on unselfish love or war. In general, I like made-up stories that afford me a good number of hours to escape and adventures I can go on without leaving the comfort of my couch.

There is a special kind of novel that I find particularly entertaining and very, very funny: romantic novels. There are some that are more intelligent than others, but normally they're just fantastic fun because they're so out there. Completely loco. The most unrealistic ridiculous fantasy. When you need a good laugh, do what I do and read the back cover. OMG! There is nothing more hilarious than that. The covers, titles and the "synopsis" on the back are the best! The paintings of Fabio, Nathan Kamp, and any number of famous models, with their overly chiseled features and scary enormous muscles are to die for. The helpless damsels with their scantily clad frames, breast barely contained, flowing locks and sun-kissed skin kills me.

There are certain words I look for that can indicate the level of ridiculous the book will be. The more ridiculous, the better as far as I'm concerned. It's what I affectionately refer to as "pure gold". There's a certain vocabulary that is normally used by the writers who specialize in this genre. Do you remember that episode of Friends where Rachel tries to write a trashy novel and fails miserably? It's pretty funny. Anyway, I gathered some words together that I have good laughs at when I read the back covers. Gold, pure gold. I imagine this would be a very enlightening read and probably has a similar list.

yearn
hellion
feisty
tycoon
devilish
virile
notorious
clutches
free-spirited
dazzling
maiden
lure
intriguing
flare
mogul
intensity
soul-searing
hot-tempered
captivated
dashing
luscious
woo
wondrous
aroused
forbidden
pleasures
delicious
savor
bitter-sweetness
caresses
devoured
auburn-haired
temptress
tresses
sultry
raven-haired
surly
brooding
ravishing

Please, please check out this post, and this one too. I don't think I've ever laughed this hard in my life. Absolute, 36k gold!

By the way, the pic up there at the top is our dear Gerry Buttler. Is that a riot or what?

1 comment:

someone said...

Ahahahahahahaha, that picture up at the top is waaaaaaaay hillarious!!

Absolutely, back cover blurbs on girlie novels are a sure way to 'chase away the blues' - a guaranteed laugh!