American Idol: Behold the Face of Evil

Kara DioGuardi..................... just joking. Here's her for real. Yirrh!

American Idol is off to a good start with hilarious auditions - really the best part of Idol - and snarky comments. Simon is being himself, which is really a good thing because - as one hopeful said - he keeps it interesting.

Paula is still acting like the comatose, drugged out, washed up 80's star that she is. Her sentences are only mildly incoherent as she is now forced to share the spotlight. "You, you are beautiful and your aura is so bright. You've got a sweet spirit and you, you're, fa-fabulous. You - your singing is - a melody - lullaby and calm - and you're just beautiful - but this competition - it isn't for you". She can't possibly be happy about that, which is one of the reasons I think she's saying less. Too bad. Her mumblings were entertaining and always gave us something to talk about. Yesterday she showed up in an old schoolmarm outfit, anybody else catch that? She had a blouse on that buttoned all the way up to her neck and a little higher, with - I kid you not - ruffles. She was wearing a bun - you can't make this stuff up - and glasses with those strings attached. You know those ones old people use so that they won't fall or get lost? If she was trying to tell us how much she hated being there, message received.

Randy, I don't know...whatever. He's his normal self I guess, which is not really very interesting or helpful. We've learned from experience that while he is an expert in his field, he's often way off base. It begs the question, what field is he expert in?

And then there's Kara DioGuardi. Annoying, attention needy, not at all funny, and over the top. She's trying to prove to everyone that she should be there and she's just making herself look like a fool. Yesterday she said something so mean to someone (thinking she was making a joke) and it was so hurtful even Simon was surprised. She sings along with people and tries to dance. She bangs the table and says things like, "I feel good!", making everyone around her - and millions of viewers worldwide - cringe. She's obnoxious, grating, and ridiculous. What were the producers thinking? That the 3 existing judges were getting too cozy so they would add a fly to the ointment? No one really cares about anyone but Simon anyway, so what's this all about really? Did the producer lose a bet? OMG! I bet that's what happened. Now that makes perfect sense!