Monday, February 2, 2009

Lord, what fools these mortals be!


In a world of financial uncertainty and generally bad judgment on the part of our government I didn't think anything could surprise me anymore. I was wrong. It seems like once again the minions of evil are working around the clock to come up with creative ways to waste good money stolen from the hands of the tax payers and the mouths of children.

Were we to have a say in how our hard earned taxes would be spent I'm sure that none of us would choose anal lubricant. I know you're doing a double take right about now because you can't believe what you just read, but I assure you, I'm not making this up.

One of my readers sent in a very hilarious/sad and disappointing news clip about a man - no, hero - who is trying to fight against the waste of our nations taxes on such frivolous, definitely questionable and - dare I say - stupid things such as anal lubricant. If you think I'm tripping, check out this article (if you speak Portuguese) and see for yourself.

It seems some jokester in our nation's capital is laughing his head off right now as his bill has just been passed authorizing the purchase of 15 million (million!) water base lubricants, which roughly adds up to R$40 million, to be handed out to the gay community.

It's interesting that education, health, blah, blah, blah are of no concern to the nation's most foolish people - our government. I weep for the future of our nation when this kind of expenditure is authorized. When this is what we consider to be our nations highest priority. When this takes precedence over everything else. Anal lubricant. Really?

I know that this is more than enough fodder for the most hilarious post in the world and possibly even a book or major motion picture starring Adam Sandler, but sadly, this is a true story and this is happening in my country. These are my idiot people who prioritize anal comfort above everything else.

I have no response to that.

I believe when it comes to our government and the people involved in making these life altering/morally dubious decisions they should heed the words of the wise ones in the Great Book that basically says that it's better to be quiet and be thought of as a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt. No one's got a shadow of a doubt that they are all gigantic fools who will have to answer for their folly and if I had any say so in what happens to them, they would live in everlasting shame and contempt.

Unfortunately, the way of things is much more sinister than that, and they will all be sipping mojitos while been fanned by scantily clad cabana boys on their lounge chairs by the pool in their enormous Miami mansions this time next year, making good use of the lubricants we paid for with our blood, sweat and tears. Meanwhile we will all once again be taking it from the next generation of fools to make it into government but thankfully this time around we'll have all the lubricant we need.

As Shakespeare once said, "Lord, what fools these mortals be!"

2 comments:

Marcio Amaral said...

"Bolsa-Vaselina"
(cordel de Miguezim de Princesa)

Sem ter mais o que doar
O governo da nação
Resolveu, virano os olhos
Gastar mais de R$ 1 milhão
Doano para os viados
Bolsa-lubrificação

Quem tem o seu pode dar
Da forma como quiser
Seja feio, seja bonito
Seja homem ou mulher
E tem de agüentar o tranco
Da forma como vier

O Governo Federal
Que em tudo quer se meter
Decretou que o coito anal
Tem mas não pode doer
E o Bolsa-Vaselina
Surgiu para socorrer

Quinze milhões de sachês
A farra está animada
Vai ter festa a noite inteira
Até mesmo na Esplanada
Sem ninguém sequer sentir
A hora da estocada

Coitada da prega-mãe
Vai perder o seu valor
Pois é ela quem avisa
Na hora que aumenta a dor
E protege as outras pregas
De algum violentador

O governo quer tirar
Do gay a satisfação
Como mulher sem prazer
(Fonte de reprodução)
Porque tanta vaselina
Vai tirar a "sensação"

- É para reduzir danos
Defende logo um petista
Porque na hora do coito
Dá um escuro na vista
E a dor é tão profunda
Que eu sinto dó do artista

- Mas tu já desse, bichim?
Pergunta Zé de Orlano
O governista sai bravo
Dano coice e espumano
Pega o "rabo de cavalo"
E sai no dedo enrolano

O Brasil é mesmo assim
Prostituta tem prazer
Vagabundo tira férias
Se trabalha sem comer
E quem dá o ás-de-copas
Dá mas não pode doer

O governo resolveu
Dar bolsa pra todo mundo
E criar um grande exército
De milhões de vagabundos
Só faltava esta bolsa
De vaselinar os fundos

Allwe need is love said...

Sem comentários! aff!Que pais é esse????