Wednesday, February 4, 2009

How to Survive Construction in Your Home

The long and the short of it is, you don't. Our condominium has decided to do some renovations on the outside of the building. They're changing all the tiles. This means incessant banging and innumerous peeping Toms.

Our side of the building was lucky enough to get the hottest time of the year for this little project, which to us translates as hot, humid, stale, dusty air for months and months. Great. Our kitchen is closed off (the wall which is actually a huge open window is closed off with a plastic curtain blocking air and construction debris) so yesterday when I went in there to check on the chicken I was almost knocked down by a wave of air that was so hot it fogged up my glasses. It was like I lifted the lid of the pressure cooker. I'm serious.

This has made me contemplate moving to quieter and cooler places like the Sahara Desert or the surface of the sun. I'm not saying that our situation is unbearable. Picking pieces of tile out of one's hair is definitely my idea of fun, but I'm a little worried about my friend, Blor. She can't take this heat. The 3 inches of dust that have accumulated on the desk (and this is just in the last hour), the beady little eyes staring into the house from the scaffold, the bits and pieces of tiles that fly into her eyes, the constant banging (she can't tell when the banging stops and when it begins), are getting to be a bit much. Anyway, my friend's sanity is at stake here and I can't guarantee she'll make it through the week without a meltdown, much less months.

When really buckling down to think of how she can survive this construction phase I draw a blank. I don't have a clue. The only thing I can think of to recommend is for her to go to her happy place. Just go there, and stay there. Take a little "mind" vacation there. Don't worry about making cohesive sentences, or removing the glaze from your eyes. She doesn't need to worry about trying to keep the house clean (this will be the death of her as surely it would have been for Monk or Howard Hughes). Just concentrate on getting better. The most important thing right now is for her to go to her happy place and get better.

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