Stupid Cupid

"Well, love is insanity. The ancient Greeks knew that. It is the taking over of a rational and lucid mind by delusion and self-destruction. You lose yourself, you have no power over yourself, you can't even think straight."

You know who said that? Marilyn French. She's absolutely right, you know? I of course am not speaking of myself, but I have a couple of friends who have succumbed to this form of lunacy and have completely lost themselves, and it won't surprise you to hear, have made complete asses of themselves.

I'll let you be the judge of whether this is ridiculous or not. Is it normal for a guy to give a teddy bear to his paramour and - wait for it - name it? Is it normal for him to invent names for their different kinds of kisses? How about rhyming? E-mailing/calling 5 times a day? Doing and saying strange things I won't mention here? Giving her a carnivorous plant and then checking up on it throughout the day and taking it bugs to feed it? Baby talk (they do it back and forth to eachother - possibly the worst one)? Naming members together?

This is all crazy behavior if you ask me and indicative of a much deeper, crueler reality - he's in love. Is that okay? I mean, does one need to turn into a fopping idiot just because one's in love? Is there any way one can retain one's dignity and still claim to be in love?

I think it will surprise you to know that my friend - after all her "special" boyfriend did and does for her - still doesn't think he's showing enough affection, attention or love. She's even taken to weeping in the bathroom during her lunch break at work. Say what? Are you friggin' kidding me?

First of all, if someone was acting the way he's acting about me, I would be concerned not enamored. Secondly, did she not say that he was rhyming and naming bears for her? What more could she possibly want? That he write out a poem in his own blood? Because he'll do that. It's not that far off, and once you're on that demented train ride from hell it's all downhill from there. Would that be romantic enough for her or does she need to get a restraining order against him in order to call it true love?

Any notions I had of what I thought was unreasonable, inappropriate, insane, queso loco, and "out there" have gone flying out the window. This relationship falls into a completely new category of weird and I have to say, I'm a little worried. I like my friend, a lot. But this - this is just creepy, icky, ewy, and yucky.

After hearing about this stuff and feeling awkward (aka suicide inducing nausea) about it, I have come to the conclusion that the whole thing is a bad sandwich and must go. Am I the only one who thinks this? Just so you know, the really iffy stuff I left out because I didn't want to write inappropriate stuff in my blog. Suffice it to say that the stuff I left out is - EWWWW! Oh, did I mention he rhymes and names bears? The boy needs help and the fool (my very silly friend) needs to run and see her therapist pronto. I'm convinced it does not need to be this way. I can think of several people I know who have handled being in love quite differently.

Let this be a lesson to all you sick love birds out there, simmer down now. I'm convinced no good can come of the above situation and I fear from my sweet friend's sanity.

Happy Valentine's Day - on the 14th, of course!