It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year - Not

You know how I know my country is better than yours? Because during Carnaval, instead of getting news about destruction and hell, there is a collage of asses all over the pages of our most respected newspapers. This is our "national passion" (sounds better in Portuguese) and there is no other time where this is made more evident than during Carnaval. Nothing else is news, nothing else matters except the overall size and shape of the country's most voluptuous women who parade themselves about wearing as little as possible (this is practically a rule) so that everyone can see their assets - literally.

You know how I know my President is better than yours? Because while the rest of the world's presidents are scratching their heads trying to figure out what to do about the financial crisis, running hither thither and yon making war and/or signing treaties, our President throws condoms at large crowds of rowdy, and for all intents and purposes, naked throngs of heathens.

You know how I know my city smells better than yours? Because while yours may smell of whatever it is your country majors in, mine at this very moment reeks of human existence. There is no denying that some serious shit went down these last couple of days, or that there weren't enough toilets to go around. Our streets smell of the stench of humanity reminiscent of perhaps what the streets of Sodom and Gomorrah must have smelled like after one of their bawdy celebrations. I won't get into detail here - so unnecessary - but I'm pretty sure you get the general idea.


What we need right about now is a flood of water to wash out the "mementos" of this celebration from our city. I'm thinking it should be a natural one, just lots of rain and water. But if that's not possible, then at least send in the planes and helicopters to spray the entire city with disinfectant and water - because really, people, this is just nasty.

Jane Eyre

Have you ever read Jane Eyre? It was written by Charlotte Bronte and is one of my favorites. The thing about it is that it's a beautiful, beautiful love story. The kind that will never bore you and will have you coming back for more. There is a wonderfully woven plot that takes you on a journey through the lives of the characters, and more specifically Jane Eyre's.


The characters are all perfectly developed so that the reader can very easily dive into the story and feel like an active observer. I find that stories that do that are rare and special. The writer must have a special gift not only for story telling and imagination, but for being able to clearly capture what is seen in the minds eye on paper.

The sparks flying back and forth between the two main characters, and the mystery (ghostly screams, noises, apparitions and missing or appearing items) keep the reader fully entertained and engrossed in the story.


If you don't have time for the book, or have already read it, I would recommend the 2006 British miniseries. There was a movie made as well with William Hurt and Charlotte Gainsbourg, but it's not my favorite. The miniseries is far superior, passionate and ultimately more romantic.


The actors in the miniseries are Toby Stephens and Ruth Wilson (you'll remember him from James Bond: Die Another Day where he plays the villain, Sir Gustav Graves). Just right there there is a vast improvement due to better casting. I don't want to poo-poo the movie because I still think it's relevant, and if you can't find the miniseries I would recommend you see the movie. I have a particular problem with William Hurt which is probably the main reason why I couldn't really get behind the whole idea. I don't have any issues with Toby Stephens though, so, yeah.


The chemistry of the actors in the miniseries is electrifying and probably what made it so great. I urge you to go out and see if you can rent it. It's a popcorn and cozy Saturday afternoon activity that will make you feel warm and fuzzy inside. You can also find it all over Youtube, but it's better to rent it and watch it on the big screen. Here's a little morsel:

Cinnamon Rolls

There are certain things, I believe, that help make a house a home and in my personal opinion baking is one of them. I think home cooking is too, but there's something about baking that brings everyone together. Maybe it's the smell of fresh bread or cake in the oven, maybe it's the fact that it warms up the house (not a plus in my book, but perhaps for those fortunate enough to live in cold climates, it is), or maybe it's the fact that someone in the home took the time to make something for everyone that brings everyone together. Whatever the case may be, it's the picture of an ideal comfy, cozy, rustic, warm home.

We have several faves here such as pigs in a blanket, muffins, pao de queijo (fresh made) and scones, just to name a few. One of the all-time never-go-wrong yummies we make are cinnamon rolls. There are as many ways to make them as there are stars in the sky. In fact, a lot of times I use the leftover dough from the pigs in a blanket or pizza to make the rolls. They come out great, but never as good as when you make the dough specifically for the rolls. Now, I have searched high and low and have finally found a perfect recipe that never fails. It's easy, tasty, and super duper fluffy. The things about rolls is that they need to be fluffy and consistent at the same time in order to work them properly, these ones are just that.

Last weekend I made these and I doubled the recipe because I knew we'd be having company over the following day, and I wanted to make enough so everyone could eat whenever they wanted. I made them on Friday and on Saturday they were still just as fluffy and delish as they were the day before. I wasn't able to test and see how many days it would be good for because they were devoured. Truth is, these are so good, they'll never last long enough to test.

Cinnamon Rolls
from Bon Appetit

Dough:

• 1 c whole milk
• 3 tbs unsalted butter
• 3 1/2 c flour (or more if needed)
• 1/2 c sugar
• 1 large egg
• 2 1/4 tsp dry yeast (1 envelope)
• 1 tsp salt

Filling:

• 3/4 c packed brown sugar
• 2 tbs ground cinnamon
• 1 tsp nutmeg (optional)
  
• 2 tsp ground dry ginger (optional)
• 1/4 c unsalted butter at room temperature

Combine milk and butter in glass measuring cup. Microwave on high until butter melts and mixture is just warmed to 120°F to 130°F, 30 to 45 seconds (I heated it up on the stove top). Pour into bowl of stand mixer fitted with paddle attachment. Add 1 cup flour, sugar, egg, yeast, and salt. Beat on low speed 3 minutes, stopping occasionally to scrape down sides of bowl. Add 21/2 cups flour. Beat on low until flour is absorbed and dough is sticky, scraping down sides of bowl. If dough is very sticky, add more flour by tablespoonfuls until dough begins to form ball and pulls away from sides of bowl. Turn dough out onto lightly floured work surface. Knead until smooth and elastic, adding more flour if sticky, about 8 minutes. Form into ball. (I have a beautiful stand mixer - Kitchen Aid. I know it doesn't help you much, but I just wanted to say that)

Lightly oil large bowl. Transfer dough to bowl, turning to coat. Cover bowl with plastic wrap, then kitchen towel. Let dough rise in warm draft-free area until doubled in volume, about 2 hours.

Filling: Mix brown sugar and cinnamon in medium bowl.

Punch down dough. Transfer to floured work surface. Roll out to 15×11-inch rectangle. Spread butter over dough, leaving 1/2-inch border. Sprinkle cinnamon sugar evenly over butter. Starting at 1 long side, roll dough into log, pinching gently to keep it rolled up. With seam side down, cut dough crosswise with thin sharp knife into 18 equal slices (each about 1/2 to 3/4 inch wide).

Lightly oil your baking dish (glass preferred, but not mandatory). Divide rolls between baking dishes, arranging cut side up (there will be almost no space between rolls). Cover baking dishes with plastic wrap, then kitchen towel. Let dough rise in warm draft-free area until almost doubled in volume, 40 to 45 minutes.

Position rack in center of oven and preheat to 375°F. Bake rolls until tops are golden, about 20 minutes. Remove from oven and invert immediately onto rack. Cool 10 minutes. Turn rolls right side up. (I skipped this last step and just let them cool in the dish - whatever)

The picture up top isn't perfect because I didn't have enough light and it was night so I couldn't take the pic out in the sunlight, but you get the general idea - perfection.

Americans like to put a cream cheese icing on their buns but I think it's redundant since you already have the cinnamon sugar goodness.

Enjoy!

Oscar Beauty

All the pictures you see here are from Yahoo. They have the best coverage, so go there and check it out. Here are my hits and misses:


He was so amazing as the host! and let me just say - HOT!

Jessica Biel, John Belushi called, he said you're late for the toga party.

Wow! Freida Pinto is just gorgeous in this Galliano that looks couture and ethnic, but ever so delicate. Great choice of color too.

Marion Cotillard looks stunning in this "evil-but-beautiful-witch" ensemble.

Someone somewhere is missing a big chunk of fabric from their curtains. Beyonce, this is not one of my favorite things.

Did you think I wouldn't put a picture of him? Ever the vampire, Robert Pattinson does not disappoint with a traditional tux, spiky hair and "blue steel" look (or is it le tigre?).

Always gorgeous, winner of the Oscar for her leading role in "The Reader", Kate Winslet once again wows us with her intelligent choice of color and all around perfectly put together look. She manages to look very classy and elegant without giving off an air of superiority.

Penelope Cruz...I generally dislike her as an actor, but I like her dress. And while I wanted to snub her, I thought it would be unfair to the dress, so that's why she's here - or better yet, the dress is.

Amanda Seyfried (Mama Mia) looks very classy and youthful at the same time. Good choice of dress because the color and the big bow keep it real and don't age her. I love, love, lover her necklace.

Evan Rachel Wood is so amazingly stunning as a beauty, but she also gives off this air of being above everyone and untouchable. While it may not work for some, it works well for her. A stuck up princess - otherworldly. She can do no wrong.

I love this picture. Who wouldn't be looking longingly and drooling over Robert Downey Jr at such close range?

Anne Hathaway's peaches and cream complexion makes her a goddess among women. Her dress is very white against her snow white skin, but because of all the sparkles, it totally works. Bavo!

Rrrrrr!

Cute picture.

Angelina's earrings are 115-carat emeralds and her ring is 65-carats. Have you ever seen such bright green emeralds before? It's hypnotizing. I'll bet you some Saudi prince has already purchased it for his wife.

Lovely. Miley Cyrus looks like a beautiful flower. Very Oscar appropriate dress.

Hubba. The jewel of the evening. Don't you just love Mickey Rourke's greasy hair and pirate gold tooth? The open shirt showing chest we don't want to see with a locket (image of his dog, by the way) makes him the anti-sexy.

Alicia Keys looks beautiful in lilac with that lovely flowing fabric and classic hair.

I'm so glad Sophia Loren is finally looking old. There's something very disconcerting about someone that old looking so young. While her body looks spectacular, her face looks totally spent, as it should be given that she's 75 yrs old. She still looks very good and younger than some people I know who are in their 50's. That being said, the dress is hideous and not at all age appropriate.

I love the color of Amy Adams dress. She looks great and the necklace is gorgeous! Possibly my fave accesory of the evening (after Angelina's super kryptonite emeralds, that is).

I didn't love Natalie Portman's dress, but I loved her makeup. It's my fave makeup of the evening so that's why she's here. See how the purple makes her hazel eyes pop? Crazy beatutiful!

The 81st Academy Awards

Last night we had an Oscar Party here at my place. To say that my place was not the ideal location for the event would be an understatement. It was one of the hottest nights of the year, because of construction there can be no AC's anywhere, and there was limited seating. Regardless of those minor details we had a blast. We all bet on each category and kept track all night long. We also kept record of our faves from the red carpet. I have to say that there were a lot less people on the red carpet this year. I wonder if they're all following Angelina's example and snubbing E! en masse?

I would have included a bunch of pictures of the gathering, but I'm not quite sure what happened with the photographer(s). Every picture is uglier than the last. There were so many unflattering pictures I couldn't find one that I felt was ok.

Since there's no photographic record I'll just tell you what we had. The theme was English tea, so we had cucumber, radish, pate and apple finger sandwiches, as well as shrimp and mango wraps. The drinks were vodka tonics and sex on the beach. Our original plan was to have iced tea (in keeping with the English tea theme), but when the boys decided to join us we had to change gears a bit in order to make them happy. That's our excuse for all the alcohol. For dessert we had a fluffy orange cake with apricot whipped cream. Yum!

Now for the highlights of the big event:

Hugh Jackman was great. He's an entertainer. A classy one. Old Hollywood glamor style. I love it! He sang and danced and was altogether terrific.

I loved that Kate Winslet won. I feel it's been long overdue.

I loved the way they had past Oscar winners come out and say something to each of the actors nominated. For the most part it was heartfelt and touching and I think it was a good way to honor everyone who was nominated.

I loved that Heath Leger won. He earned it.

I didn't care for some of the montages. They were confusing.

I didn't care for the fact that Sean Penn won. He's a tool. I wanted Brad Pitt to win. I felt he deserved it and was maybe passed over because he's not an ugly train wreck like Penn. Plus, he just got back together with his wife (she has such poor judgement), and he didn't even think to thank her. He must have thanked everyone he knew including Jorge the hotdog vendor and Marco the gardener, but he didn't thank her. He is so unworthy of the Princess Bride.

I liked the little kids from "Slumdog Millionaire". They were adorable. Little tiny kids speaking in English with a very thick Indian accent - priceless. I also liked the fact that the film took home all the Oscars. It was so unexpected and they were so grateful. They deserved it.

Some of the documentaries and short film animations that win baffle me. I don't know who judges this stuff or how it even makes it out into the public, but it just seems so inferior. I know that random members of the academy vote on the winner, but do they even watch it? Especially the short animation is just so lame. Here's the other thing: so what that they won. Do they have to televise it? We don't care - at all. It draws out the event and takes some of the charm out of it. There's always some really geeky person who goes up there and thanks everyone they ever knew. They always look very excited and energetic, but they usually have an air of they-don't-let-me-out-much.

Here's another thing I don't get: Sound Mixing and Sound Editing. Aren't they almost the same thing, if not the exact same thing? Shouldn't it just be one category? I really don't get it. And it's even worse when different movies win for those categories. It's usually the same one, but last night it was two different ones. Confusing.

Stay tuned for Oscar beauty tomorrow, or maybe the next day, I don't know yet.

I totally forgot that one of my favorite moments was when Ben Stiller came on with a beard and chewing gum pretending to be Joaquin Phoenix. It was hysterical!

Eye Candy: Henry Cavill - Dunhill Black

This is for the ladies - hubba, hubba, hubba. Enjoy!

Miojoboy Loses a Tooth - the Die Hard Way

Yesterday Miojoboy lost a tooth. But he didn't just lose a tooth, he really lost a tooth, if you know what I'm saying. Miojoboy has lost very few teeth until now because most of them didn't fall out on their own. We've had to have several pulled because the new tooth was already coming in and the old one hadn't left yet, making him look like a shark with several rows of teeth. He thought it was awesome - Fukui-san and I, not so much since we were the ones paying the dentist's bill.

As it happens, his tooth (a molar) had been getting looser and looser all month, and I had no idea. I had just made popcorn for the kids and myself and I was sitting in my bedroom, completely out of touch with reality as I read about ships and times past, when Miojoboy walks in with blood all over his mouth yelling, "Mom, look!"


The first thing that crossed through my mind was, "Well, they've finally done it. They've drawn blood." If you don't know my precious children of light, you're not aware that they're always, always fighting. As they've gotten bigger their fighting has gotten more physical. Fukui-san and I can hear their cries for mercy, or warrior yells from the living room. Pleasant. It's especially pleasant when we're watching a touching movie and drinking a glass of wine. In general, it's boys will be boys, but I thought that this time they had taken it too far and had finally gone and done it.

Thankfully their guardian angels work overtime and get well paid because it wasn't a war wound. He had bitten down on a kernel and his loose tooth was bleeding everywhere. We went to the bathroom and he started spitting blood like he was trying to cast out a demon. It looked like friggin' Texas Chainsaw Massacre all over the counter and the sink. Then he looked up at me with a devilish grin, dripping with blood and saliva and said - I kid you not - "This is so cool! I've never seen this much blood before. Awesome!"

It was at that moment that he reached in and pulled the tooth out like a little baby Rambo. What a die hard. I don't know about any of you, but I think it's one of the signs of the end of days when kids start reaching into their mouths and yanking out their teeth like they're Special Ops.

Wine, Pneumonia and Death

I have a friend who's got walking pneumonia. In itself this wouldn't be a big woopty-doo except that this is the second time she's had it in the last couple of months. Funny thing is, she's usually pretty faithful to go and get checked up and follow doctor's orders and whatnot. This time she's in bed after promising the doctors that she would stay there until she got better. She ignored them the first time, it seems she's ignoring them again this time, so I'm thinking pretty soon she'll be at death's door with a cigarette in one hand and a glass on wine in the other wondering where she went wrong.

This got me thinking, how many people do you know who are not only health concious, but that get regular check ups and follow what the doctor says? In general, almost everyone I know is a cheater when it comes to that, myself included. I don't know if it was my parent's hippie lifestyle and belief in all things natural and spiritual to heal, or their aversion to doctors that has given me an indifferent attitude when it comes to health issues.

I'm not saying that I don't make my kids get checked and that I ignore serious symptoms, but the truth is that my family is pretty healthy - fingers crossed, knock on wood, and all that. As time goes by we're supposed to become more and more strict about health care and doctors and vitamins and whatnot, but really, who has the time for all of that?

Time or no, I know I've got to make some changes, see a couple of doctors, run a couple of tests and get things in order. I don't want to wait until I'm knocking on Heaven's door to finally go and get checked up (which was my original plan, actually).

I guess if nothing else my friend's irresponsibility and complete disregard for the precious gift of life has made me see that that's not the road I want to take. Riding shotgun with the Grim Reaper has never been my idea of fun. And while all the "doctor" rubbish doesn't sound like a capital idea to me, I'll play along and make nice so that when I finally see that light that shines so brightly but doesn't hurt my eyes, I can say with all certainty that it's not because I failed to see the doctor.

I leave you with a funny doctor/patient scene from Princess Bride where Billy Crystal works his creepy magic on Cary Elwes to revive him from the dead. I know it has little or nothing to do with this post, but there's a sort of doctor there, and there is some work done, so...

Book Review: 4 Blondes by Candace Bushnell

Disclaimer: I think that most of you know by now that I feel very strongly about things. In general, I'm not a "sit on the fence" type of person. Well, a couple of years ago I read a book that was so lame it horrified me. Looking back now, there is a slight possibility that my reaction was a bit exaggerated, but at the time I felt it was justified. I put the book down before I even finished it (although to my chagrin I read nearly all of it) and wrote a very angry review. I think you're all old enough to read it, although I have to warn you, it's not nice. Without further ado, here goes:

A Book Review on Candace Bushnell's 4 Blondes

by Flor

There are few things in life that can be considered as horrible as this book. Candace Bushnell is the anti-Christ of literature. If the publishing houses keep putting out this kind of excrement and passing it off as literature, I have no doubt the world will soon be illiterate. Not only is her book poorly and annoyingly written, it is vulgar, cheap and disgusting. Some of the things she writes are so awful that I'm thinking of getting hypnosis is a desperate effort to forget them.

All of the things that we strive never to mention, and always to ignore for propriety's sake, she casually mentions as if she's writing out a shopping list. Her characters are shallow and stupid, as I'm sure she is as well. I have no idea how she can look herself in the mirror after writing a book like this. I have no idea how her husband can stand to look at her after a book like this, or eat at the same table with her, and I definitely don't see how he can bring himself to have sex with her.

During the time I was reading the book, I kept telling myself that it had to get better, that it couldn't possibly be this bad, but it never did. I wanted to run with scissors. It was a much more enjoyable thought than having to read through that scum. I shall never buy another one of her books and I hope her "Sex and the City" fans take her out and tar and feather her.

Movie Review: Gilda

When I think of the ultimate "temptation woman", the woman all other women aspire to be (secretly and not so secretly), and the men both love and hate, I think of Rita Hayworth. She's the kind of woman who could drive a man to insanity, if not to an early grave. At least this is the character she plays in most of her films. She's the femme fatale, the seductress, the man eater. This character - which she perfected - coupled with her sincere and delightful smile make her the deadliest, most dangerous combination to date.

You have heard of my love for Audrey, Marlene, Doris, Sophia, Eva, and the list goes on, but when it comes down to it, Rita Hayworth is it. She's the whole deal. She can easily play a fun romantic, or the very naughty, very troubled, love-sick she-devil like in Gilda.


Gilda - that's what this post is all about. I had the good fortune of being able to catch it on TCM the other night. It's just one of those movies that every serious movie buff should watch. The story is the following: a mysterious man named Johnny is down on his luck and ends up becoming the right hand man of the owner of a casino in Argentina. One day, quite out of the blue, the man brings back a wife. As fate would have it, Johnny and Gilda had known each other in a past life. You realize that there was once something between them but that it all went sour and that that's why he, an American, ended up in Argentina in the first place. She says things to him like, "I was true to one man once....and look what happened", subtle, but you get the picture.

Johnny and Gilda then get caught up in a silly game of cat and mouse. Johnny is torn by his feelings for her and loyalty to the man who saved him from the gutter, Gilda's husband. Because she is being ignored by him, she becomes very self destructive and this is not good, for anyone.


It all culminates with one fantastic scene where she sings "Put the Blame on Mame" and the earth stands still. She makes a terrific spectacle of herself and nearly ruins everything. You need to see the whole movie to understand the situation, why she does it, why he hates it - although there's no mystery regarding why everyone else loves it. I urge you to go out and rent this movie. It's got a bit of a Casablanca theme going, but without all the righteousness. Where Casablanca has moral integrity, this is naughty and wrong. It really isn't like Casablanca at all, actually, it just feels that way sometimes because of the setting, and because of the love triangle.

My dears, I leave you here with a clip of the only one who could do this song justice, Rita Hayworth. Enjoy!

Poetry: The Garden

The Garden

by Andrew Marvell

How vainly men themselves amaze
To win the palm, the oak, or bays ;
And their uncessant labors see
Crowned from some single herb or tree,
Whose short and narrow-vergèd shade
Does prudently their toils upbraid ;
While all the flowers and trees do close
To weave the garlands of repose.

Fair Quiet, have I found thee here,
And Innocence, thy sister dear!
Mistaken long, I sought you then
In busy companies of men :
Your sacred plants, if here below,
Only among the plants will grow ;
Society is all but rude,
To this delicious solitude.

No white nor red was ever seen
So amorous as this lovely green ;
Fond lovers, cruel as their flame,
Cut in these trees their mistress' name.
Little, alas, they know or heed,
How far these beauties hers exceed!
Fair trees! wheresoe'er your barks I wound
No name shall but your own be found.

When we have run our passion's heat,
Love hither makes his best retreat :
The gods who mortal beauty chase,
Still in a tree did end their race.
Apollo hunted Daphne so,
Only that she might laurel grow,
And Pan did after Syrinx speed,
Not as a nymph, but for a reed.

What wondrous life is this I lead!
Ripe apples drop about my head ;
The luscious clusters of the vine
Upon my mouth do crush their wine ;
The nectarine and curious peach
Into my hands themselves do reach ;
Stumbling on melons as I pass,
Insnared with flowers, I fall on grass.

Meanwhile the mind, from pleasure less,
Withdraws into its happiness :
The mind, that ocean where each kind
Does straight its own resemblance find ;
Yet it creates, transcending these,
Far other worlds, and other seas ;
Annihilating all that's made
To a green thought in a green shade.

Here at the fountain's sliding foot,
Or at some fruit-tree's mossy root,
Casting the body's vest aside,
My soul into the boughs does glide :
There like a bird it sits and sings,
Then whets and combs its silver wings ;
And, till prepared for longer flight,
Waves in its plumes the various light.

Such was that happy garden-state,
While man there walked without a mate :
After a place so pure and sweet,
What other help could yet be meet!
But 'twas beyond a mortal's share
To wander solitary there :
Two paradises 'twere in one
To live in Paradise alone.

How well the skillful gard'ner drew
Of flowers and herbs this dial new ;
Where from above the milder sun
Does through a fragrant zodiac run ;
And, as it works, th' industrious bee
Computes its time as well as we.
How could such sweet and wholesome hours
Be reckoned but with herbs and flowers!

Stupid Cupid

"Well, love is insanity. The ancient Greeks knew that. It is the taking over of a rational and lucid mind by delusion and self-destruction. You lose yourself, you have no power over yourself, you can't even think straight."

You know who said that? Marilyn French. She's absolutely right, you know? I of course am not speaking of myself, but I have a couple of friends who have succumbed to this form of lunacy and have completely lost themselves, and it won't surprise you to hear, have made complete asses of themselves.

I'll let you be the judge of whether this is ridiculous or not. Is it normal for a guy to give a teddy bear to his paramour and - wait for it - name it? Is it normal for him to invent names for their different kinds of kisses? How about rhyming? E-mailing/calling 5 times a day? Doing and saying strange things I won't mention here? Giving her a carnivorous plant and then checking up on it throughout the day and taking it bugs to feed it? Baby talk (they do it back and forth to eachother - possibly the worst one)? Naming members together?

This is all crazy behavior if you ask me and indicative of a much deeper, crueler reality - he's in love. Is that okay? I mean, does one need to turn into a fopping idiot just because one's in love? Is there any way one can retain one's dignity and still claim to be in love?

I think it will surprise you to know that my friend - after all her "special" boyfriend did and does for her - still doesn't think he's showing enough affection, attention or love. She's even taken to weeping in the bathroom during her lunch break at work. Say what? Are you friggin' kidding me?

First of all, if someone was acting the way he's acting about me, I would be concerned not enamored. Secondly, did she not say that he was rhyming and naming bears for her? What more could she possibly want? That he write out a poem in his own blood? Because he'll do that. It's not that far off, and once you're on that demented train ride from hell it's all downhill from there. Would that be romantic enough for her or does she need to get a restraining order against him in order to call it true love?

Any notions I had of what I thought was unreasonable, inappropriate, insane, queso loco, and "out there" have gone flying out the window. This relationship falls into a completely new category of weird and I have to say, I'm a little worried. I like my friend, a lot. But this - this is just creepy, icky, ewy, and yucky.

After hearing about this stuff and feeling awkward (aka suicide inducing nausea) about it, I have come to the conclusion that the whole thing is a bad sandwich and must go. Am I the only one who thinks this? Just so you know, the really iffy stuff I left out because I didn't want to write inappropriate stuff in my blog. Suffice it to say that the stuff I left out is - EWWWW! Oh, did I mention he rhymes and names bears? The boy needs help and the fool (my very silly friend) needs to run and see her therapist pronto. I'm convinced it does not need to be this way. I can think of several people I know who have handled being in love quite differently.

Let this be a lesson to all you sick love birds out there, simmer down now. I'm convinced no good can come of the above situation and I fear from my sweet friend's sanity.

Happy Valentine's Day - on the 14th, of course!

Random Post

This is going to be a very short post because I really don't know what to say. I tend to get writer's block when there are bogus construction workers staring at me through my bedroom window. It seems Armageddon has hit my place full on. We're doing repairs in the kitchen, they're reforming the outside of my building, and it's the hottest time of the year.

Anyway, I came across this very short film by Roman Polanski for a fake perfume (I have no idea why they make these) with Michelle Williams and Natalie Portman. If you ask me - which I don't think anyone is - Michelle Williams is looking a lot like Rebecca de Mornay. Am I the only one who thinks so? It's a cool little film and will take all of 76 seconds to watch, so hop over there and check it out.

Another little tidbit I thought would be fun is this article by Dave Barry. I swear I was in tears laughing.

The picture up top has nothing to do with anything, I just thought it was pretty.

Cheers!

Blast From the Past: Le Jardin by Max Factor

I was sitting at my computer trying to cool off - by pointing two fans directly at me after having bathed in ice water, drinking iced tea that was more ice than tea, thinking thoughts of scaling Mt. Everest in nothing but a bikini, and chanting the rain mantra - when I came across a Youtube video that was a total blast from the past.

I'll start at the very beginning so you understand what and why.

When I was 13 I had a boyfriend I was convinced was "the one". As it turns out, he wasn't. But, I still have very fond memories of the whole experience - up until a certain point which I won't get into, ever.

He was a very romantic guy and would bring me flowers every week, take me on walks, buy me presents. In general he made me feel like a princess. I felt like I was the center of his universe, and I believe I was. He always wanted me near him, and for two whole years I don't think we were ever apart. He was my universe and I thought we would be together forever.

One of the gifts he bought me was a perfume by Max Factor called Le Jardin. It's discontinued now, and that's a real shame because it was really beautiful. He bought me a gift set with the perfume and powder (the old fashioned, beautiful kind with a powder puff). I wore it every day of my life, and when it was done, he bought me another one. Even after he left I still wore it and it always reminded me of him.

That chapter of my life came and went, but it's funny how certain things remind you of a time, a place, a person, a feeling. Watching the ad below made me feel happy. I remembered how happy and young I was. Every day I had the time of my life. Every day I wore Le Jardin, and that perfume will always remind me of my first love.

Here's the ad with one of the most beautiful women in the whole entire universe, Jane Seymour:

These Are a Few of My Favorite Things

There are some things in life that come and go. Some preferences that make an appearance for a time and then take a hiatus. Most things we like for a time and then we stop liking them for any number of reasons. Then there are the things we can' t or don't want to do without. People start getting used to seeing us with one thing or another over the years and they become part of who we are, even if we didn't plan it that way. You start to associate people with things they like and eventually if you see one of those things it reminds you of that person, whether you care or not.

Here are some of my favorite things. Some of them I believe are transient - until science improves on them - and some things are permanent.


Jane Austen movies, books, movies about the books, movies about the characters.



Iced tea. Preferably Earl Grey, but I'm not too picky. I drink buckets of it every day.


Coca-Cola Zero. Tastes perfect and has no sugar. A match made in commercial heaven.


Fresh Firebird mascara. Makes my eyelashes look like they're fake, but in a very good way. This mascara allows me to layer coat upon coat without looking like Tammy Faye.


Chanel Aqualumiere lip gloss. Shiny and not sticky. Beautiful array of colors. My favorite is Ironic Tonic, but I love all of them.


MAC lipsticks. I love their reds. They're classy and perfect and there's a big variety to choose from. I also love their other lines and in specific "O" which I've been using for a long time. It's the one in the center, although it looks much darker in the picture than it really is. It's actually a perfect brown burgundy with gold and pink shimmer. Ideal for day or night.


Eternity Summer. It lasts for hours and hours. It's fresh and feminine, delicate and perfect for the hot summer months.



Johnson's Lavender Baby Powder. I love this stuff. Every summer I buy it and it makes me all that much more comfortable. It smells like a good long baby nap after a nice cold shower.


Mitsubishi Uniball pen. I keep buying this same pen over and over again. It's just that good.



Tank tops. Where I live they're a must if you want to survive.


L'Occitane liquid shower gel. It smells divine and makes you can feel perfectly pampered.


A good loofah. Makes fun suds in the shower and helps you feel extra clean. It also prevents you from using up too much of your nice liquid soap, so it lasts longer when using a loofah.



Blistex Lip Ointement. Nothing quenches dry lips like this. It's addictive, it's so good. I don't know what I'd do if I ran out.


Sleeping Eye Mask. A must for a good weekend nap.


Havaianas. I use them almost exclusively. I have different ones in different colors - never as many as I want - and change them depending on my clothes. I don't know how not to use them.