Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Ask Flower Power: More Than Words? No Way! - I Want Those Words!!

Since I started this advice colum the letters have been coming in. Here's another one and it's good:

Dear Flower Power,
I feel you're the only one that can save me from my agony! Please help!!!

Well, my story starts like this: I've been dating for almost 7 months (hanging out for 2 months, plus officially dating for 5 months) and I really, deeply love him. I fell in love with a cute, intelligent, fun, nerdy guy... We get along very well. We talk to each other for hours sharing our different points of view, have great sex, watch our favorite shows on TV together, go out with friends, have romantic dinners out and at night we read our books holding hands like an old couple... This could be a fairy tale if it weren't for a matter of semantics... The dilemma: about 2 moths ago I finally got the courage to say The Words... We were laying down together, my head was in his chest and I could hear his heart beat. I looked into his beautiful green eyes and I felt that I could no longer hold this explosion of emotions that were inside of me... and then the words just came out of my mouth, I love you.... There! It was done! I just had to wait for the part where he says I love you too, right? But, instead of saying this, he smiled at me, held me close, and said that he liked me very much, that he wanted me to stay with him, that he missed me so much it hurt, that he felt that I was the women he wanted to build a life with - you know, have a family with and have his kids... However, he also said that he wasn't ready to say " I love you" back. He said that maybe he did love me, but that from the moment he say it out loud he would feel that he lost control... I cried so much, but I tried to understand. I tried to say to myself that it didn't matter. After all, it is just some words! As the song says. " I just need you to show that you love me then I will know"... And he does show with his actions!!! He cares and worries about me. He sends me an e-mail wishing me a good day at work everyday and when he leaves his work he calls me to wish me a good night and to say how much he misses me. He baby talks with me and invents names for our kisses (worm kisses and butterfly kisses - before you laugh, remember he is 95% nerd and he is a biologist, okay?). Recently, he gave me a card saying that I've been able to melt his stone heart... That gave me hope, but fear at the same time...

How long should I wait until he says The Words??? What if it takes 5 years??? What if he never says them??? Sometimes I wonder if in the place of his heart there is a block of ice that can never be thawed. What if in the end I realize that "Sheldon" is not able to love? (Sheldon is what a friend of my calls him due to his similarity with a character from the nerd show, Big Bang Theory) Of course he doesn't know about the storm that is going on in my head... I believe that it has to be something he feels and wants to say spontaneously. I don't want him to say it just to make me happy. In fact, I was less miserable because I figured at least he was being honest with me. I really love him, but I don't want to make a fool of myself... I just want to love and be loved in return, am I asking too much???


Word Crazy

No comments: