Monday, December 8, 2008

Game Time: Find the Mistakes

Remember when you used to get those activity magazines that had word games, crossword puzzles and things? Well, there was always that game with the 2 pictures side by side and you had to find what was wrong with one of the pictures - find the mistakes, or whatever it was called. That's what we're going to do today, we're going to point out what's wrong with the picture. There are many, many things, but right off the bat I can count.... let's see....7, no...8 things that are terribly, terribly wrong. If, however, you find more, please feel free to share. In order to do this exercise correctly, please click on the picture to blow it up so you can see all the details better.

Funny thing about this picture is that it's the cover of the "Revista" from Sunday's paper in Rio. Inside the magazine there's a whole spread full of ridiculous shots of ridiculous people, doing their ridiculous thing, and wearing even more ridiculous clothes. I don't know what happened or who needs to get fired, but it was the sorriest fashion spread I've ever seen in my life (and I've seen some real doozies). If they thought they were being fashion forward and setting summer trends, they were sadly mistaken. The models look silly (where on earth do they get off calling themselves models, anyway?), the clothes... don't get me started (it would make Carson weap), the makeup.... unbelievably ridiculous (Kevin Aucoin is rolling in his grave right now). It is a sad day when some fashion editor is given 8 pages and the cover of the Sunday mag and can't come up with something better. Where's quality control anyway??

Let's start our little game:

1) The guy's hair. What is up with his hair??? Really? We're doing the 80's drug lord poof on the top of the head now? We're supposed to be evolving as a species, not moving backwards.

2) The sideburns. Dude, Starsky called from the 70's, he wants his hair back, and he said your sideburns are stupid and you're ugly.

3) The eyebrows. I guess he can save on sunglasses, cause those hairy caterpillars shield better than anything I know. It's casting a giant shadow over his face, which may be in our favor since... you know... what Starsky said.

4) The mustache. The MUSTACHE!!! OMG! Is he for real??? He looks like Pancho Villa or Sargento Garcia (old Zorro series). I guess a stupid mustache like his would look ok if he were posing with a sombrero, two bullet belts on, a taco in one hand and a cactus in the other...and of course lived 100 years ago when people actually dressed like that.

5) The shirt. Urgh.

6) The shorts. Uhh...Dude, you're wearing your girlfriend's short shorts. Did you have to run out of the house in a hurry because her husband came home early? I know what happened, you just grabbed the first thing you saw and ran like the wind to get to the photo shoot on time. Well, if that's the case it's totally understandable. If not....well, then I think you don't look very masculine, do you? You look like you bat for the other team, don't you? You know, a homosexual. It's ok if you are, but if you're not, maybe you're sending people the wrong message. You should look into that.

7 & 8) The girl's eye makeup. Looks like Helen Keller was doing arts and crafts on her face, and picked out her necklace as well. Here's a free bit of advise I'm going to send your way, chica: if you're wearing a bikini, Cleopatra's missing necklace may not be the best choice for you.

That being said, I don't think I've laughed so hard reading the news than I did on Sunday. So, thank you sloppy non-fashionistas for your amazingly wacked out spread. My kids learned to stay in school and stay away from brain cell destroying narcotics, and I learned that even if someone is totally ridiculous and completely incapable of doing something, if they have the right connections, they can get an entire magazine dedicated to their disastrous ideas and foolish notions of what's cool.

3 comments:

someone said...

WHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Starsky indeed!!

If the photos weren't so good for laughs, we'd have to be offended that the Almighty Alpha and Omega Globo actually produced and published this for our edification...

M.D. said...

It's like his eyebrows were drawn on with super extra thick 'n slick kohl.
Remember when we were kids and we dressed up like pirates or gypsies and we painted on eyebrows, side burns and moustaches with a burnt cork? THAT!!!! HIM!!!!
I'm not gonna get started on her junky-ass, trailer park worthy, fuggy-fug eyeliner. She looks like a crack/meth-whore who accidentally walked in to a high-end picnic.
Jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesus.

Livvy said...

LOL! No. 3 is a winner... priceless thoughts!

Since every published piece of that hideous trip to the 80's-gone-fauna 'fashion' paper is a collective effort, the question on my mind is... just how many people at Globo got the 'No need to come in on Monday' memo...