Thursday, October 23, 2008

Parting is such sweet sorrow

The sun doesn’t shine as brightly.
My coffee tastes stale even though it’s fresh.
All food tastes the same.
Music is noise to me.
Celebrity news holds no interest for me anymore.
I don’t even have the desire to put on perfume or lipstick.

I can’t believe I finished my book.

I don’t know if you’ve noticed or not – most of you don’t keep up with the posts on this blog anyway – but I haven’t posted anything in a while. (Insert huge theatrical sigh here) I hope I haven’t lost my mojo permanently. I feel like there’s a cloud of Satan breath just hanging over my head – uncool.

I now have to find other books to content myself with until I can get my hands on the 3rd book, Voyager. I don’t know what I’ll do with my nights. It’s like the characters that have been with me these past weeks (it’s a really long book, 900+ pages) have suddenly vanished and I won’t hear about it, or what will become of them, if they’ll ever get together again, or anything for that matter, for months. It seemed like it took forever to read the book, but now that it’s done, it’s just not the same anymore, is it? Everything is just “pleh”.

Have you ever read a book that was so good you were sad finished? If you have, please tell me in the comments.

Not knowing what to do with myself I picked up and read the world’s most shallow book. I don’t know if I really want to admit to anyone that I actually read it, (it’s just that shameful). It’s like Andy’s shame stick. Remember that from “According to Jim”? Andy has his embarrassing snack that he calls a shame stick and it’s just a stick of butter coated in sugar on a stick. Well, the book I read is basically that, but I think the shame stick is less shameful. The book is the equivalent of Malibu Barbie, Clueless, Gossip Girl and Paris Hilton all in one, I kid you not.

I don’t think I’m qualified to make rational decisions at this time. This is the kind of poo I’m picking up and reading. As someone once said, if it looks like poo, smells like poo, feels like poo, and tastes like poo, it must be poo. And so it was. I think it may be part of Satan’s evil plan to take over the world or something by making us all stupid. I’m pretty sure there’s some Satan text in there like hidden messages in music or something. Actually, I take that back, there was nothing hidden about its Satan message at all. It was pretty blatantly shallow and coma inducing. I’m sure that in the ridiculous awards it will either get 1st or 2nd place, no doubt about it.

What I can say in it’s defense is that by a miracle it has inspired me to write a post! So, all’s well that ends well, that’s what I always say. But, I don’t want to close before sending a little message to Plum Sykes (the writer of the book):

Plum Sykes, YOU keep the scepter.

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