Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Serenity Now!

As I sit and ponder the current state of our economy and the many issues in the world which are consuming our every thought and monopolizing any and all conversations, I wonder about things and can’t help but ask myself some basic questions that are eating away at the back of my mind like: why would China invest in space technology and not in finding an alternative fuel so they can stop polluting the world with coal? Why are people so greedy and why didn’t anyone stop this financial crisis from happening if it was clear we were headed in that direction? What is up with the war in Iraq and why hasn’t it been resolved yet? Why are there no good options in the coming elections, in any country right now? Is Lindsay Lohan really gay and if so why didn’t she choose someone hotter?

These are the deep questions that plague me day in and day out and to be honest it’s just too much. Case in point is the picture above. Are the reporters standing around all day long just so they can get an exaggeratedly desperate shot of a poor bloke falling apart? This is obviously the way they want us all to feel, but in my opinion, no good can come of freaking out, and maybe if we all just take a deep breath and Goosefrabah, Woosah, Kumbaia, we would come up with viable solutions that wouldn’t involve Pinky and the Brain world domination schemes.

I want to have a relaxed conversation that doesn’t include crisis and disaster, so I’ve come up with a solution which may or may not work but which I think is valid nonetheless. Do you remember how during the first crash people needed their spirits lifted so that’s when Superman was created? Well, I think we need comedy. Yes, good old fashioned comedy, the kind of movies that have always been good. They were good when they first came out, they were good when we saw them, and they will continue to be good long after we are gone. Yes, comedy! The world needs comedy. As Cervantes once said, “Too much sanity may be madness”. For this purpose I have made a list of 5 movies I think meet the criteria, although because there are so many millions of movies out every year there may be a few I’m forgetting, or that I like better, but for whatever reason these are the ones that are foremost on my mind. So without further ado, here’s my list for movies to watch during this time of crisis:

1) Wrongfully Accused starring Leslie Nielson. It’s hysterical! One of the classic lines in the movie is: “Your lies are like bananas. They come in big yellow bunches”. Here’s another nugget:

Ryan Harrison: Your dog sure has a surprised look on his face.
Lauren: That's because you're looking at his butt.
Ryan Harrison: Uh, then he's certainly not going to enjoy that treat I just fed to him.

2) What About Bob? is my second movie recommendation starring Bill Murray and Richard Dreyfuss. Bill Murray plays a crazy who is obsessed with his psychiatrist and who won’t leave him alone even when he goes on holiday. This is one of those movies that everyone has to see at least once. Here’s a classic line:

Dr. Leo Marvin: You understand, don't you? There's no other solution. You won't go away.
Bob Wiley: I will.
Dr. Leo Marvin: No, you won't. You're just “saying” you will! But then, after I don't kill you, you'll show up again. And you'll do something else to make everyone in my life think you are wonderful and I'm a schmuck. But I'm not a schmuck, Bob, and I'm not going to let you breeze into town and take my family away from me, just because you're crazy enough to be “fun”.

[Leo has a rifle pointed at Bob]
Bob Wiley: What are we doing?
Dr. Leo Marvin: Death Therapy, Bob. It's a guaranteed cure.

3) A Fish Called Wanda is one that should not be missed by anyone. This is classic Monty Python doing their thing and is a gold mine for laughs. Memorable quote:

[Otto dangles Archie out a window]
Archie: All right, all right, I apologize.
Otto: You're really sorry.
Archie: I'm really, really sorry, I apologize unreservedly.
Otto: You take it back.
Archie: I do, I offer a complete and utter retraction. The imputation was totally without basis in fact, and was in no way fair comment, and was motivated purely by malice, and I deeply regret any distress that my comments may have caused you, or your family, and I hereby undertake not to repeat any such slander at any time in the future.
Otto: OK.

4) Men in Tights. What can I say about this movie that has not already been said? This is a classic, to be sure, barrels of laughter, bushels of fun, oceans of giggles, buckets of guffaws, loads of chuckles, miles of merriment, bags of mirth, and ridiculous amounts of cackles.

Sheriff of Rottingham: Wasn't your... didn't your mole used to be on the other side?
Prince John: I have a MOLE?

Ahchoo: Let's get out of this ladies clothing and get into our tights!

5) Sgt. Bilko starring Steve Martin as a ridiculous Sergeant who gets things done regardless of the fact that he is a slacker and encourages as much from his men. It’s a wonderful story about looking good while goofing off and making the hard workers look like the fools.

Master Sergeant Ernest G. Bilko: You can't marry him. You're a Catholic and he's... an asshole, think of the children.

The movies which I feel deserve honorable mention are:

Rat Race
The Princess Bride
Animal House
Austin Powers – International Man of Mystery
Some Like it Hot
The Producers
Blazing Saddles
Something about Mary
Naked Gun series
Ace Ventura Pet Detective
Ace Ventura - Nature Calls

What about you? What are your fave comedies of all times?


M.D. said...

I do the "wooooooosah" bit...no kumbaia for me...that's weird Kilimanjaro magic...hehehe

someone said...

Hahahahaha... lies are like bananas, hahahahahahaha!!

Lllove Sergeant Bilko :)
How about their jogging song, "I can barely move my legs/Do me a favor and kill me now/Something something rhymes with legs/My life is over any how..."

brun said...

The Pink Panther series Peter Sellers...where is that on the list?