In which I take the day off

I’ve been having a difficult week at work and to illustrate the way I feel I’ve decided to share a parable with you:

This is a story about good and evil and stupidity, so pay close attention and listen, because this could happen to anyone. It could happen to him, her, them, – and yes, it could even happen to you.

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, a long, long time ago there lived a humble, beautiful and graceful maiden. She was the fairest maiden in all of the land. In this land there also lived a very stupid man who owned a tavern along with his idiot best friend. This was the only tavern in town, and consequently the only place the beautiful maiden could work. We’ll call the maiden Jane, and the stupid tavern owner, Bob, and his friend we’ll call, Bill.

Now Bob and Bill weren’t always stupid idiots. Many times they were just fine and would do their thing. But there were certain things they did that were very stupid and very idiotic. We won’t get into detail here, because it’s really not essential to the story.

Anyfool, one day Bob told Jane to serve all of the customers in the tavern a hot bowl of stew. So Jane, hardworking and uncomplaining as she was, made her way around the entire tavern and served every single one of the customers with a smile and a merry “How-de-do”. When she had finished with the laborious task she started cleaning and moping and washing and doing the normal mountain of duties she had to do every day.

Right at that moment Bill walked in and told Jane that she was not supposed to serve everyone in the tavern the stew, but only the nobles.

“What?? Well, Bob told me to serve everyone as quickly as possible”, Jane said.

“Silence, you insolent wench!”, said Bill, “I want you to go around a collect all of the bowls, scrape them and clean them, get back whatever food has already been eaten and then go and serve the nobles again”.

“Riiiight.”, said Jane.

As if that weren’t enough, Bob’s brother (let’s call him Theo), walked in and said, “Oh, Jane! I would like you to clear everything without the use of a tray, or your hands for that matter. I want you to do everything you need to do using only your feet”.

At this point, things had gotten so out of hand and ridiculous that Jane took off her apron, waved goodbye to all the customers (they were not at fault, after all), and walked away deciding to take the day off to ponder the mysteries of the universe and the meaning of life.

Children, the moral of the story is: if you own an establishment don’t be an idiot, a fool, or a stupid idiot fool, or the people who work for you will walk away and take the day off.