Lady Chatterley's Lover

I just finished reading D.H. Lawrence's Lady Chatterley's Lover. I had seen the 70's movie ages ago but I had never read the book. When I first started reading it, it took me a couple of pages to get accustomed to the style of writing. For the most part it was the excessive use of exclamation marks that threw me, and then there was the Hugh Grant style narration. It really felt like Hugh Grant or Anthony Hopkins was the narrating with all the starts and stops. Very British.

I do love British writing though, so I decided to power through and I'm glad I did. It's a great book. Well written, insightful, honest and kind of pornographic. After my last experience reading sex scenes written by a man I thought I would never be okay, but as it turns out it's not all men, just some - or possibly one. D.H. Lawrence deals with it head on in a very factual and straightforward way. It's interesting.

The book is not only about animal lust and sex between a lady and her gamekeeper, no, it's about how boring the British nobility is, for one. It also touches on their social divide, love, tenderness and real intimacy. It's not a shallow book with no substance past the sex, so it does keep you interest and while reading it you understand how relevant the sex is, and even the description of it is.

I highly recommend it if you're in between books and you don't know what to pick up next. It's a solid read and a good time.

When He Was Wicked -- Not

I picked up a romance novel the other day because the title of the book is, When He Was Wicked by Julia Quinn. Call me crazy, but the title lead me to believe there were be stories, tales, tidbits, morsels - if you will - of someone being wicked.

There weren't. Not a one.

The "wicked" character in the book starts off from the very first page not being wicked. In fact, he is responsible, sensible, and respectful. Yuck. If I wanted to read a book about someone like that I would have chosen a book titled The Saint. Basic outline: the character is in love with his cousins wife, so he pines, yearns and broods the pages away like a lovesick puppy visibly drooling every time this "vision of grace and elegance" walks into the room. Total yawnfest. The only time there is any mention of him being wicked is when he's feeling sorry for himself and thinking, "Things were so much easier.....when I was wicked". The author actually tries to insert the word "wicked" here and there to justify the title but it's misplaced and weird.

Where is the wickedness? Argh. I feel like the person in the funk song "Tell me something good" - because this book, well, how can I put it - is not good. I find it odd that there are so many glowing reviews on Amazon - very misleading. Julia Quinn is not her usual self in this book, the characters are meh, and overall it was neither fun nor funny. That's a problem for me, because I usually read these books because they're fun or because I find them hilarious. So, this gets a 1 star rating from me.

So in summary, my complaint is: he was not wicked, no one was wicked, where is Jilly Cooper's Rupert Cambell-Black when you need him?

As You Like It

The other day I was at the book store and there was a fantastic array of Penguin classics. It's always exciting to see rows and rows of books, any one of which would make for hours of entertainment and good times. For the first time in a long time I saw not one but several Shakespear plays there. As I looked through them looking for ones I wanted to re-read I saw a title that has inexplicably escaped me all these many years - As You Like It.

(It's really embarrassing for me to admit this, so I hope you'll appreciate what a huge deal it is that I'm blogging about it. The only reason I am is because I feel it is quite blogworthy and something I shouldn't keep to myself.)

I picked it up and read the back and it sounded like so much fun I added it to my pile. The story is about 2 girls (cousins) who end up living in a forest after an evil duke (and father of one them) takes over and exiles the cousin (the other girl and daughter of his rival). They disguise themselves and one of them dresses as a boy - confusion and poetry ensue, good times, yada yada.

I found out later that the great Kenneth Branagh adapted the play to film starring Alfred Molina, Bryce Dallas Howard, Kevin Kline, and of course all the usual suspects who end up in all Shakespeare/Branagh films. The film is fun and diverting and a perfect bit of entertainment for a rainy Saturday afternoon. I love finding little unedpected treasures like this, don't you?

Best Served Cold: Disclaimer

Important update on the book I'm reading - Best Served Cold.

I may or may not ever recover from the things I'm reading. I remember a time when I didn't know these things - those were the days of innocence - ignorance is indeed bliss. I think the sky looked bluer, children's laughter was sweeter, popcorn was crunchier and water quenched my thirst. It's all different now. Nothing will ever be the same, but unfortunately I cannot stop reading it. I am vested in it and have to see it through - plus, she hasn't finished killing everyone on her list yet.

Let this post serve as a disclaimer for any woman thinking of reading this book.

Makeup Books

If you follow this blog you know how much I love Sam and Nic and their Youtube channel, Pixiwoo. Well, she just did something awesome. If you go to her website, Fashionface.tv, there is a link to a list she created with all the makeup books she recommends. This is candy, candy, candy! I want candy! I recommend that you take note of the books there and perhaps put them on your Amazon.com wish list so you can start buying them one by one. They make perfect gifts as well (for me!). It's not easy to decide what books to buy and where to start, but she simplified the process. Check it out. Go. What are you waiting for?

Tata for now!

To the Finder

My Mom wanted me to read The Shack. She read it and decided to bug me about it until I finally gave in. In order to guarantee that I wasn't just saying I would read it without any intention of actually doing it - she knows me so well - she had me buy a copy on Amazon.com. I thought that buying a 2nd hand copy would be the best course of action. I was so right. Not because it was in such good condition for a used book, because it wasn't. Not because I saved so much money buying it used instead of brand new, because I didn't (not significantly anyway). No, it was much, much better than that. There was a note in the book. Smack on the cover some heathen had written "Look inside cover". Inside the cover there was a letter that read (in what my Majah said was 2nd grade handwriting):

To the Finder,

I left this book on the Amtrak train from Dallas to San Marcos.

I thought it was good until it slowly but surely became a religious book. Then I picked up this pen and wrote this note and left it on the seat. So if you love Jesus or want to know more about loving Jesus please read. If you are like me, don't read this, but instead pass it on.

Cheers!

Used book on Amazon.com - MasterCard $5.00
Shipping book to Brazil - MasterCard $8.00
Finding a note warning the reader of the contents in a religious book posing as a novel - priceless.

I won't actually review the book here, but I did think the letter inside was totally worth posting.

Beijos!

The Secret Garden

When we were kids we didn't read many classic novels. We read Bible stories and Aesop's Fables. We liked them a lot and until today I remember all the stories we used to love. From the famous David and Goliath to the Benjamites kidnapping women dancing around the fire (so cool!). Looking back now I'm sure my parents can see that it would've been interesting to let us read other novels as well, but as someone once said (you see, I do use the title in my posts - in your face Mary!), hindsight is 20/20.

As we got older we became more interested in certain stories we caught wind of like Anne of Green Gables, Little Women, Ivanhoe, The Count of Monte Cristo and The Three Musketeers. Those stories took us on a wild, wild ride and we loved every second we were were able to sneak off and read them. I remember reading Little Women up in the attic in Argentina with a flashlight hiding behind trunks and suitcases. It was very exciting, which is probably the reason why the book seemed all the more awesome to me.

Before moving to Argentina we all met up (us older kids were living in different places) in Sao Paulo while we got ready for the trip. There was a lot of paperwork to be done so we were there for a little while. We were in a temporary situation that was not providential at all. We had to bunk with some of my Mom's friends and we felt very unwelcome. Majah had to travel and do things and we were left in this uncomfortable situation with some really uncool people who's idea of taking "good care" of the teenagers was to make us work like orphans in a poor house so we wouldn't have any time to get into trouble. I think Majah's friend (our "hostess") was secretly - or not - a witch, because she was the most creative evil task master I've ever met - and I've met some. (By the way, Majah had no notion of what was going on until she came back from her journeys and we didn't want to worry her while she was away.)

We devised a way to make a haven for ourselves away from the people who we didn't like and who really didn't like us. That's when we started reading. We found a storage place that was kind of like a pantry and storage room with a lock and key. No one ever went in there so it was always locked. We stole the key, a lamp, some pillows and blankets (it was winter) and would go to our hideout after hours and read together. We read many different books, we even listened to music, but the one book I remember well was The Secret Garden.

I guess we identified with the fact that they had also found their little haven away from the hate and it was a magical secret garden. Our little storage room was far from beautiful or magical, and smelled a bit like old Cheetos and feet, but it was ours and it made us feel safe and brought us closer together. We had been separated for a while before meeting up in Sao Paulo and we had more or less grown apart. Some of us were doing courses in Rio and others were with our parents. Reading the book together in that little dingy little hole in the wall (literally) was a life saver and kept us all sane during a very difficult time. To me The Secret Garden will always hold a very special place in my heart. When the movie came out in '93 I flipped. It's absolutely gorgeous! Perfect for a cozy Saturday afternoon with tea and cookies.

I love the movie. Here's the trailer - enjoy!



This is my favorite moment in the movie:

Books: Voyager (Outlander Series)

I first read Outlander a year ago. Angie went to the British church here in our city where they sell second hand books for $1 and brought me back a book she thought might interest me. She had no idea at the time exactly how much it would interest me.

From the first moment I started reading I was instantly transported into a fantastic world of time travel, Scottish history, love and adventure. I couldn't put the book down. I couldn't stop reading. The author, Diana Gabaldon, creates the most amazing characters, the most interesting story lines, and above all a most intelligent read. She writes beautifully - which is so important otherwise it gets a bit distracting - and unfolds the story in a way that the reader almost feels like he's inside the pages of the book. When the characters get upset, the reader gets upset too. When there is injustice or malice done to one of the characters, you feel very strongly about it and share in the pain along with them.

And so it was that I fell in love. To my joy I found out that this is a 6 part series and that I would be able to "time travel" along with Claire (the main character) and participate of hers and Jamie's (the other main character) life for 5 more books. That's when my beloved sister sent me the second book, Dragonfly in Amber. The book was everything I'd hoped for. When I finished it I didn't know what to do. There was no up, no down, nothing. That's when Our Lady of Perpetual Kindness (aka Angie) gifted me with the third book, Voyager, for Christmas. I was almost afraid to read it for fear that it would't be as good as the others. I was insane. It's amazing.

I just finished it and I don't know which of the three that I've read so far are better. This last one is a crazy, wonderful journey and I loved every single minute of it. Not only did it not disappoint, it amazed me.


I'm told the 4th book is a wash, so I'm going to skip it and go straight on to the 5th. If you can get your hands on these books, I highly recommend it. Bear in mind that the first one has a shocking scene towards the end of the book (about 150-200 of the last pages of the book). It's not for the faint-hearted and there is question as to whether it was necessary to include it in the book at all. You've been warned.

The image I included is what I think Jamie Fraser looks like. If I were casting him it would be Halle Berry's baby daddy, Gabriel Aubry. I didn't come up with this on my own, by the way, this was the author's idea (see photoshopped image here). I'm still looking for my Claire. I'll let you know when I find her. People are throwing out names like Rachel Weiz and Kate Beckinsale, but I'm not feeling it. I think she might be a bit more Keri Russell.

Jane Eyre

Have you ever read Jane Eyre? It was written by Charlotte Bronte and is one of my favorites. The thing about it is that it's a beautiful, beautiful love story. The kind that will never bore you and will have you coming back for more. There is a wonderfully woven plot that takes you on a journey through the lives of the characters, and more specifically Jane Eyre's.


The characters are all perfectly developed so that the reader can very easily dive into the story and feel like an active observer. I find that stories that do that are rare and special. The writer must have a special gift not only for story telling and imagination, but for being able to clearly capture what is seen in the minds eye on paper.

The sparks flying back and forth between the two main characters, and the mystery (ghostly screams, noises, apparitions and missing or appearing items) keep the reader fully entertained and engrossed in the story.


If you don't have time for the book, or have already read it, I would recommend the 2006 British miniseries. There was a movie made as well with William Hurt and Charlotte Gainsbourg, but it's not my favorite. The miniseries is far superior, passionate and ultimately more romantic.


The actors in the miniseries are Toby Stephens and Ruth Wilson (you'll remember him from James Bond: Die Another Day where he plays the villain, Sir Gustav Graves). Just right there there is a vast improvement due to better casting. I don't want to poo-poo the movie because I still think it's relevant, and if you can't find the miniseries I would recommend you see the movie. I have a particular problem with William Hurt which is probably the main reason why I couldn't really get behind the whole idea. I don't have any issues with Toby Stephens though, so, yeah.


The chemistry of the actors in the miniseries is electrifying and probably what made it so great. I urge you to go out and see if you can rent it. It's a popcorn and cozy Saturday afternoon activity that will make you feel warm and fuzzy inside. You can also find it all over Youtube, but it's better to rent it and watch it on the big screen. Here's a little morsel:

Book Review: 4 Blondes by Candace Bushnell

Disclaimer: I think that most of you know by now that I feel very strongly about things. In general, I'm not a "sit on the fence" type of person. Well, a couple of years ago I read a book that was so lame it horrified me. Looking back now, there is a slight possibility that my reaction was a bit exaggerated, but at the time I felt it was justified. I put the book down before I even finished it (although to my chagrin I read nearly all of it) and wrote a very angry review. I think you're all old enough to read it, although I have to warn you, it's not nice. Without further ado, here goes:

A Book Review on Candace Bushnell's 4 Blondes

by Flor

There are few things in life that can be considered as horrible as this book. Candace Bushnell is the anti-Christ of literature. If the publishing houses keep putting out this kind of excrement and passing it off as literature, I have no doubt the world will soon be illiterate. Not only is her book poorly and annoyingly written, it is vulgar, cheap and disgusting. Some of the things she writes are so awful that I'm thinking of getting hypnosis is a desperate effort to forget them.

All of the things that we strive never to mention, and always to ignore for propriety's sake, she casually mentions as if she's writing out a shopping list. Her characters are shallow and stupid, as I'm sure she is as well. I have no idea how she can look herself in the mirror after writing a book like this. I have no idea how her husband can stand to look at her after a book like this, or eat at the same table with her, and I definitely don't see how he can bring himself to have sex with her.

During the time I was reading the book, I kept telling myself that it had to get better, that it couldn't possibly be this bad, but it never did. I wanted to run with scissors. It was a much more enjoyable thought than having to read through that scum. I shall never buy another one of her books and I hope her "Sex and the City" fans take her out and tar and feather her.

Northanger Abbey

Northanger Abbey is Jane Austen's first novel and truth be told it's pretty clear that as time went on and she matured in her writing, so did her characters. The main character in this novel is Catherine. She is a very silly, very young little girl. She reads many novels and because of this she lets her imagination carry her away to her dream land.

Because she is so very young, she is not a very good judge of character, and because she is so naive about things, she misinterprets interactions, situations and people. Whenever there's a question mark about someone, or something she doesn't understand, she leaps to her own conclusions and ends up making some pretty embarrassing if not serious mistakes.

She is not an annoying character, by any means. She's cute and endearing, and because of this we forgive her. Her love interest, Mr. Tilney, is a very lovable character and although he indulges her naivete - he too, finds it endearing - he eventually steps up and puts her in her place. He's a real gentleman and although he doesn't have the strongest character around, he's right for her.


The book is more about Catherine than anything else. There are of course misunderstandings, attachments, betrayals, accusations, friendships and relationships in the novel, but more than anything it's a study of Catherine. Some say it was Austen's attempt at a "Gothic" novel, and I can see how that would be an apt description, although it's probably more accurate to say that Catherine was created to resemble a heroine from a Gothic romance novel.

In all, it's a fun book, with good people, written by a special woman. It's interesting to compare Catherine and Mr. Tilney with her characters later on. You'll see what I mean when you read the book. By the way, if you can stand it, go to Youtube and catch the TV movie. It's pretty accurate and well made.

Here's the trailer. I'm not sure it's the best quality, but it's the best I found.

Reading with the Kids

The kids and I have been doing quite a bit of reading during their summer break. We've been reading about some cool teenage and child mutants who were experimented on by some wacky scientists who injected them with avian DNA. They've got wings and a number of other unique abilities. We're having a blast with it as it's written in a way that's very current and attractive. There's a bit of an edge to the way they speak, "tongue in cheek" if you will, and that makes it pretty funny. The books I'm referring to are Maximum Ride by James Patterson. He usually writes thrillers and super books for grown ups but this is his first attempt at something for the little guys and it's great.

Aside from reading the Maximum Ride series with the babies, I'm also doing some one on one reading with them so they can practice reading in English out loud, and they are doing splendidly. They were a bit shy at first, but now they're having a blast. Thing 2, aka Miojoboy, is reading The Adventures of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain and he's loving it. He cracks up at the old fashioned words and expressions used in the book like, lick and lam. You had to hear him laughing when Tom says to the cat, "Siddy, I'll lick you for that!"And he couldn't stop laughing when a little further down the page Tom said, "I bet you I'll lam Sid for that.." Now he's going around everywhere telling people he's gonna lick and lam them.

Samurai Jack is reading through a series of British books called Goosebumps. While it doesn't have much "nutritional" value, it is helping him with his reading out loud and I've noticed a significant improvement in the last couple of weeks.
They both run to the living room when I tell them it's time to read and don't want to stop even after we've been reading for an hour. This is a major change from what it used to be like. I was once so frustrated that I stopped trying to read with them altogether. They would always fidget and play and sneak toys in and I took it personally that they didn't want to be there reading with me. When I mentioned this to Angie's mom she suggested something truly revolutionary, enlightening, and to say the least novel: let them play while you read. I coudn't believe I'd never thought of this before.

You see, when we were kids, we weren't allowed to look at our hands or anywhere other than at our pages or the person who was reading. It was such a strict and hard-and-fast rule that I think subconsciously I was holding my kids to that same standard, not realizing that it was totally unnecessary. It never crossed my mind to just chillax and let them fidget and play while I read to them. You know what happened, eventually they stopped playing and started asking questions, participating and taking a real interest. Now I award points to the one who can guess what happens, who "it" is, where we left off, etc. Nothing actually happens with the points, no prizes or anything, but those points are still important to them (Heaven knows why). So, if you're reading this Julia, I thank you. Your suggestion was 36k platinum gold!

How to Choose a Good Trashy Romance Novel

As many of you know I'm an avid reader. I read many books on varied subjects, genres and authors. I read historical fiction, classics, poetry, thrillers, books about Law (novels of course, not textbooks), comedy, philosophical novels, and whatever else may interest me at the time. As a general rule I don't read self-help, business, textbooks, or any kind of non-entertaining reading. I hate true stories that concentrate on depressive tales of woe and lessons on unselfish love or war. In general, I like made-up stories that afford me a good number of hours to escape and adventures I can go on without leaving the comfort of my couch.

There is a special kind of novel that I find particularly entertaining and very, very funny: romantic novels. There are some that are more intelligent than others, but normally they're just fantastic fun because they're so out there. Completely loco. The most unrealistic ridiculous fantasy. When you need a good laugh, do what I do and read the back cover. OMG! There is nothing more hilarious than that. The covers, titles and the "synopsis" on the back are the best! The paintings of Fabio, Nathan Kamp, and any number of famous models, with their overly chiseled features and scary enormous muscles are to die for. The helpless damsels with their scantily clad frames, breast barely contained, flowing locks and sun-kissed skin kills me.

There are certain words I look for that can indicate the level of ridiculous the book will be. The more ridiculous, the better as far as I'm concerned. It's what I affectionately refer to as "pure gold". There's a certain vocabulary that is normally used by the writers who specialize in this genre. Do you remember that episode of Friends where Rachel tries to write a trashy novel and fails miserably? It's pretty funny. Anyway, I gathered some words together that I have good laughs at when I read the back covers. Gold, pure gold. I imagine this would be a very enlightening read and probably has a similar list.

yearn
hellion
feisty
tycoon
devilish
virile
notorious
clutches
free-spirited
dazzling
maiden
lure
intriguing
flare
mogul
intensity
soul-searing
hot-tempered
captivated
dashing
luscious
woo
wondrous
aroused
forbidden
pleasures
delicious
savor
bitter-sweetness
caresses
devoured
auburn-haired
temptress
tresses
sultry
raven-haired
surly
brooding
ravishing

Please, please check out this post, and this one too. I don't think I've ever laughed this hard in my life. Absolute, 36k gold!

By the way, the pic up there at the top is our dear Gerry Buttler. Is that a riot or what?

New Moon: A New Jacob

I've started reading New Moon which is book II of the Twilight Series, but there's just something I can't get my head around: Jacob. I think maybe it's because of the image the movie gave me of what he looks like that's just throwing me off. I'm sorry to say that it's become a major distraction and I just can't go any further without finding another Jacob for me to picture. So, after much searching (it was really hard actually), I've come up with some options I think I can get behind. Some of them I believe in more strongly than others, but everyone has their preference, so I didn't limit it to one. Bella is hanging out so much with Jacob that in order for me to enjoy the book, I had to do something, right? There are others that are more famous actors, like Benjamin Bratt, but, you know. Mostly, I found this to be a very challenging project and I hope you appreciate my efforts.

Movie/Book Review: Twilight

I don't like to make blanket sweeping statements, so I won't overstate this: Robert Pattinson is the hottest vampire in the whole entire universe of vampires.

One of my gifts was a book called Twilight by Stephanie Meyers. It's a 4 part saga about a vampire who falls in love with a human. The tension between the two of them is palpable. The writing is mediocre at best but because of this electricity between the two, it makes for a most exciting read. I gobbled it up in about 2 seconds and was thirsty for more - more blood!!! (No, there's no real amount of blood in it at all, but it's still a good book).

Last night I went to see the movie. Watching movies after you read the book is like seeing the characters you imagined in your mind coming to life - it's awesome! The other way around, not so much, because the book is always better. I know it's a cliche to say that, but it's true. The movie was beautiful and I loved it.

I don't know about anyone else, but my wish for the new year is for a 35 yr old Robert Pattinson vampire to fall in love with me. There, I said it. You heard me. I'm sure all of you out there who saw it or read the book are thinking the exact same thing, so, yeah - don't be hatin'.

Really that was it for my post, to tell you all how much I loved the book and the movie. I'm going to start book 2 immediately and will be ordering 3 and 4 from Amazon forthwith.

I leave you with the trailer to wet your appetite:

Jane Austen - a must read!

My sister asked me to recommend a Jane Austen book for a friend of hers who had -- brace yourself -- never read Jane Austen before. (Insert collective exclamations of surprise.) I was under the impression that it was required by law to read her books. Somehow I don’t see how one can have a decent conversation about relationships with a person who is not familiar with Jane Austen’s writing. I make no secret of the fact that I feel all women should read at least one of her books.

Being the avid fan that I am, I took it upon myself to recommend two books which I think best represent Jane Austen’s work. Naturally, Pride and Prejudice was first on my list. Of all her books I think this one is her best, and not surprisingly, Jane Austen’s favorite as well. There is something very relatable about her characters and the mistakes they make. You feel an instant connection and sympathize with them right from the beginning. You don’t take sides, though. It’s funny that way, as they both have their share of the blame for the misunderstandings and issues that come up between them. I’ve read this book more than once (I won’t tell you how many times because I actually don’t know), and I’m still not bored of it. It’s beautiful, and I’m really serious when I say this, and absolute must read for anyone who loves books. I can understand how it may not appeal to all men, but I do think it’s an appropriate read for both sexes.

The second book I recommended is Persuasion. This is a beautiful, beautiful story about love and forgiveness, and second chances. In the book the heroine rejects the hero for a number or reasons and wounds him deeply. I won’t tell you any more as I think it’s best to read it and find out for yourself. It is a classic example of what romance novels should be like. Once again the characters make mistakes and it takes a while for them to realize that their sin was in listening to the errant advice of others, or caring about appearances and trying to hold on to wounded pride. Once they get over themselves they have a breakthrough and the reader is rewarded with an ending that does not disappoint. The book is deeply and it just sweeps you away....good times!

I’ll leave you with a clip I found on Youtube from the British mini-series (BTW, if you can get your hands on it, do watch it as it’s perfect rainy afternoon entertainment):

Parting is such sweet sorrow

The sun doesn’t shine as brightly.
My coffee tastes stale even though it’s fresh.
All food tastes the same.
Music is noise to me.
Celebrity news holds no interest for me anymore.
I don’t even have the desire to put on perfume or lipstick.

I can’t believe I finished my book.

I don’t know if you’ve noticed or not – most of you don’t keep up with the posts on this blog anyway – but I haven’t posted anything in a while. (Insert huge theatrical sigh here) I hope I haven’t lost my mojo permanently. I feel like there’s a cloud of Satan breath just hanging over my head – uncool.

I now have to find other books to content myself with until I can get my hands on the 3^rd book, Voyager. I don’t know what I’ll do with my nights. It’s like the characters that have been with me these past weeks (it’s a really long book, 900+ pages) have suddenly vanished and I won’t hear about it, or what will become of them, if they’ll ever get together again, or anything for that matter, for months. It seemed like it took forever to read the book, but now that it’s done, it’s just not the same anymore, is it? Everything is just “pleh”.

Have you ever read a book that was so good you were sad finished? If you have, please tell me in the comments.

Not knowing what to do with myself I picked up and read the world’s most shallow book. I don’t know if I really want to admit to anyone that I actually read it, (it’s just that shameful). It’s like Andy’s shame stick. Remember that from “According to Jim”? Andy has his embarrassing snack that he calls a shame stick and it’s just a stick of butter coated in sugar on a stick. Well, the book I read is basically that, but I think the shame stick is less shameful. The book is the equivalent of Malibu Barbie, Clueless, Gossip Girl and Paris Hilton all in one, I kid you not.

I don’t think I’m qualified to make rational decisions at this time. This is the kind of poo I’m picking up and reading. As someone once said, if it looks like poo, smells like poo, feels like poo, and tastes like poo, it must be poo. And so it was. I think it may be part of Satan’s evil plan to take over the world or something by making us all stupid. I’m pretty sure there’s some Satan text in there like hidden messages in music or something. Actually, I take that back, there was nothing hidden about its Satan message at all. It was pretty blatantly shallow and coma inducing. I’m sure that in the ridiculous awards it will either get 1^st or 2^nd place, no doubt about it.

What I can say in it’s defense is that by a miracle it has inspired me to write a post! So, all’s well that ends well, that’s what I always say. But, I don’t want to close before sending a little message to Plum Sykes (the writer of the book):

Plum Sykes, YOU keep the scepter.